8 Destructive Thinking Patterns and How to Change Them
by Steven Aitchison
It can be extremely difficult to focus on the good when, seemingly, bad things are happening in your life. However you can train your mind to focus on the good things in your life rather than dwelling on the bad. No it’s not one of those positive thinking articles that you’ve read all over the web and are sick and tired of. This is about changing the way you think, changing your thinking patterns. Do you use any of these thinking patterns in your day to day life?
8 destructive patterns of thinking
‘Never to me’ Thinking pattern
This is when you think nothing good will ever happen to you. This can be a deep seated way of thinking and it is a deep down inability to believe you are worthy of anything good happening to you e.g. “I’ll never have money, I’ve never had it before so I’ll never have it in the future, might as well carry on with this shitty job, at least it pays the mortgage.”
‘Life is shit’ Thinking pattern
Everything in life is bad, everybody is not to be trusted and nothing good will ever happen to them e.g. “I won’t get that job, the interviewer didn’t like me, I didn’t particularly like them anyway.”
‘Unsubstantiated conclusive’ Thinking pattern
You tend to make a lot of conclusions without any evidence to back up your conclusions. This can be a really destructive pattern as it can limit you in seeing reality for what it is e.g. “He walks a bit funny, he must be gay.” (I actually heard someone saying this about a colleague last week).
‘The negative psychic’ Thinking pattern
Presuming you know what people are thinking about you and it’s all bad. e.g. “She thinks I’m an idiot, I’ll try to avoid talking to her.”
‘Shoulda, woulda, coulda’ Thinking pattern
This type of person knows what they have to do to change their life, they are capable and they know it and they would do it if only……… e.g. “I know I could go to university and I would, but I’m just to busy with other things right now, I’ll apply next year.”
‘Emotion based’ Thinking pattern
Your emotions control what you are thinking and therefore your vision of what reality is e.g. “I feel incapable of doing that so I must be incapable”.
‘It’s all my fault’ Thinking pattern
You see yourself as being the cause of everything bad that has happened e.g. “It’s my fault he left me for another woman.” You’ll notice this type of person does not take responsibility for the good things that happen.
‘They’re all wrong’ Thinking pattern
You see everyone as incapable of doing anything right and your way is the best way to do it e.g. “He can’t do it right, I’ll stay late tonight and fix it when he’s gone.”
These are just some of the common thinking patterns I have come across in my life and I have used some of them myself. I made a conscious effort to change what I believed about myself and what I believed about the world and it has literally changed my life.
How to change the destructive thinking patterns
The first stage of changing is to recognize the problem – You will find a lot of people in life who just don’t think there is a problem so there is no need to change. If this is you then do nothing.
If you want to change you must think there is a need and you will start to recognize what things need to change and it usually starts with your perception of life. Everybody’s perception of life is different, therefore everyone’s reality is different. I don’t live in the same world as you and you don’t live in the same world as me. That might sound a strange concept to some people, but think about it for a few minutes, it could change the way you see the world!
Written by Steven Aitchison
Author of 100 Ways to develop Your Mind